Stand by My Side
by wingsofseyfert12
Summary: Yasuna has been acting cold toward Hazumu lately endangering the relationship they have had together. Can Hazumu overcome her fears and insecurities in order to maintain the happiness she had managed to share with Yasuna? Yasuna/Hazumu with a bit of Asuta/Ayuki.


Disclaimer: All rights to the name Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl belong to Bandai and any other of their affiliates. I neither own this franchise nor do I profit from the writing of this story.

Author's Note: This one-shot came about as a request from Shiranai Atsune. I had gone through the trouble of re-watching the entire series though hopefully I still have a handle on these characters. Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

Hazumu knelt over the railing of the school rooftop looking out into the distance with a faraway look in her eyes. Though the weather was bright, sunny and fresh none of this served to comfort the red headed transgender. She was lost in her thoughts and consumed by the torrent of raging emotions that so often confounded and confused her.

When she had been a boy life had been so simple. Most of her worries had come in the form of either her grades or tending to the school garden with the goal of becoming a botanist when she graduated from college. Her life then had been straight forward and did not include the emotional turmoil that she was currently suffering from.

Strangely enough the biggest change in Hazumu's life wasn't getting turned into a girl she felt. The life changer came when she had met the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Yasuna was often regarded as somewhat strange, reclusive and shy and despite her beauty most people tended to avoid her. The ones who did try to get closer to her found themselves hitting a wall. As for the boys who sought to ask for Yasuna's hand their efforts did not go any better. It was as if the girl had wanted to segregate herself from the rest of her peers.

Hazumu smiled at the memories she had with Yasuna during those times. She found Yasuna to be such pleasant company. No one had inspired such feelings from inside her. How her heart would beat furiously every time Yasuna made physical contact or how her stomach would feel like it would turn on itself whenever she heard her voice. Hazumu had never felt this way around other girls, not even Tomari. What astounded Hazumu even more was the fact that Yasuna was genuinely interested in what she had to say, whether it was about the garden, plants, or other mundane topics. The shy musician always had time to lend her ear to Hazumu.

For being a girl that wanted nothing but peace and quiet it was interesting to note that she was a turbulent presence in Hazumu's life. Ever since having asked her out, being rejected, then running outside town where she ended up getting hit by an alien spacecraft and turned into a girl afterward, Hazumu felt like her life had become so much more vibrant, interesting and bright and all of it was thanks to Yasuna.

However that wasn't the only thing that changed in the red head's life. She ended up stuck in love triangle in which Tomari, who had been just a friend the entire time, was suddenly attracted to her. Hazumu wasn't sure what do to. She loved Yasuna but she didn't want to hurt Tomari either.

What made things even more difficult was the fact that her feelings for Tomari started to change. What had been a close friendship turned into something more. Hazumu was so confused. She thought she loved only Yasuna so why was she beginning to have feelings for Tomari as well?

Hazumu didn't know whether these erratic emotions were due to her being a girl now or not. She had a vague feeling that she may have handled the situation better had she been a boy but then again there was no guarantee of that. Hazumu had never been what one called a "man's man" when she had still been a male. As time continued to pass the red headed transgender started to become so comfortable being a girl that she almost forgot what it felt like to be a boy. Perhaps this accident was meant to be. That some kind deity realized its mistake and sought to fix Hazumu to what she was supposed to have been in the first place…a girl.

All this thinking served to confuse Hazumu even further.

In the end she made up her mind and decided to stay with Yasuna. She simply could not deny her feelings for her. She loved Yasuna far too much to simply give her up like that. Even so it was difficult. Hazumu felt like a monster when she saw Tomari's tears, to hear her cries of anguish and denial as they stood at the stream in the moonlight. Never had she seen Tomari so hurt and it pained Hazumu to know that she was the sole reason for Tomari's pain.

For her entire childhood Hazumu never thought that anyone could hurt Tomari so she thought it ironic that it would be she that could bring Tomari into this state. This was why she hated making decisions like this. She felt that by choosing Yasuna that she was underrating Tomari. Telling her that she wasn't good enough when that wasn't true at all. However that was the way Hazumu felt about the whole ordeal.

It had been a year since that time. She and Yasuna had been going steady and were happy with each other. Yasuna would often join Hazumu at the school greenhouse and help tend the plants when their classes were done for the day.

Other times Hazumu would go over to Yasuna's house and just sit there and listen in awe as Yasuna played both the flute and piccolo expertly. They did not go out to formal dates, per say, but both were content merely spending their time together in this simple fashion. The fact that both were willing to make time for the other was more than enough to speak of their relationship.

Lately, though, Hazumu had begun to notice Yasuna becoming distant with her. It had started off small with her not being able to help Hazumu with the garden as often. At first the red head wasn't too concerned with this. She knew that Yasuna had a life of her own and this was bound to happen every so often. Yet this trend continued to where Yasuna would start to decline any ventures into her home or even spending time in a date during the weekend.

Even now during school Yasuna would only greet her politely with the most superficial of pleasantries. It was as if they weren't even friends anymore much less being in a relationship with each other.

This was the source of Hazumu's confusion and the reason why she was up here on the school roof, alone, during lunch time as she tried to sort out her thoughts. She simply did not know what to do next. In times like this she would often go to Tomari but the thought of her best friend brought a frown to Hazumu's face. Tomari had been scarce the whole year, often ignoring Hazumu and drowning herself in her extra-curricular activities. Hazumu knew that Tomari was avoiding her and it hurt the red head to know that her friendship with Tomari had degenerated so much.

It also brought into focus just how much Hazumu had relied on Tomari. Before, when the going got tough, Hazumu had always run to Tomari for help, advice or refuge. Tomari was her rock, her place of security and with that safety outlet gone Hazumu suddenly realized that she was completely lost.

Who then could she turn to?

As if to answer her question she heard the door to the entrance of the roof opening and turned to find both Asuta and Ayuki coming onto the rooftop with their bentos in hand. Both seemed to be in a lively discussion or perhaps a playful argument but the way Asuta was grinning like a maniac and the red hue on Ayuki's face it seemed that it was nothing serious.

Hazumu smiled at the sight. She would never have guessed that the two of them would have gone out with each other. She remembered Ayuki confessing that she would never "take the stage" yet here she was in the sixth month of her relationship with Asuta.

"Hazumu? What are you doing up here all alone?" asked Asuta in concern as he and his girlfriend neared the red head.

"That is true. I would have thought that Yasuna would be keeping you company." replied Ayuki curiously.

The red headed transgender wasn't sure what to say. While she considered both Ayuki and Asuta friends she wasn't sure that she could confide in something important to either of them. Sure she had rekindled her friendship with Asuta sometime back but still she wasn't ready to really test that friendship just yet. As for Ayuki, Hazumu was hesitant. The purple haired young woman could be quite blunt in her opinions and Hazumu wasn't sure that she was ready for that.

So Hazumu plastered a smile on her face and attempted to deflect anymore inquiries into her relationship concerning Yasuna.

"Oh well you know. Yasuna can be busy sometimes and she couldn't join me for lunch. Not that I was going to eat or anything, I'm not hungry, but still."

Hazumu knew she had utterly failed in her attempt to keep her two friends in the dark as she noticed them give her questioning glare. The red head knew she was terrible at fibbing and right now they seemed to know that she was lying.

"Something happened between the two of you, didn't it?" said Ayuki sternly.

Knowing that she was caught at this point Hazumu made no more attempt to hide anything from her friends and instead bowed her head in defeat.

"Sit down Hazumu." commanded Ayuki.

Hazumu obeyed without question and took her place on the concrete floor. She soon saw both Asuta and Ayuki then take their places as well as they opened their bentos. Immediately Ayuki took another bento out of her bag and gave it to Hazumu. Normally this spare bento was for Asuta, who had been getting quite an appetite since joining the kendo club, and Ayuki made it a point to make a spare in case Asuta was still hungry. Now, though, it served to feed her friend who seemed to be too depressed to eat. At once the red head shook her head in refusal at the offer.

"I'm not hungry." replied Hazumu dejectedly.

"You need to eat Hazumu. I'm sure you haven't even eaten breakfast. Being depressed about your relationship doesn't give you the excuse to harm yourself. Now eat."

Not the kind of person to start any confrontation despite her protests Hazumu soon dipped the chopsticks onto a piece of omelet and stuck it into her mouth.

Almost immediately her body realized its state of malnourishment and before Hazumu realized what she was doing she started to gobble her lunch up. Nothing was said as both Asuta and Ayuki also ate their bentos, albeit not as hungrily as Hazumu, and soon they had finished their lunch.

"So feeling better Hazumu?" asked Ayuki pointedly.

In fact Hazumu did feel much better. After having eaten she realized that she didn't feel quite as depressed and gloomy. There was some feelings of optimism that wasn't there before and, most of all, she was feeling more amiable. Before having eaten she thought that Ayuki was being nosy and intrusive. It really was amazing just how much the stomach thinks for its owner. Being full and content now, Hazumu suddenly changed her perspective. Ayuki wasn't being intrusive, she was being a friend. She was concerned and was going out of her way to help in any way possible.

"Yes much better. Thank you Ayuki." replied Hazumu softly.

"It's really nothing. That bento was supposed to be for Asuta but he'll live. Isn't that right?"

"Well I'm still a bit hungry. I think I could use some dessert. Care to help sate my hunger Ayuki?" replied Asuta with a perverted grin.

Ayuki turned red at the lewd request and immediately slapped Asuta on the back of his head causing the young man to yelp in pain.

"I swear Asuta you're insatiable. Can you at stop thinking with your little buddy and have a bit of modesty? Hazumu is here you know." replied Ayuki harshly.

"Well don't blame me for being unable to control myself around my gorgeous girlfriend."

Hazumu could see Ayuki blushing heavily from the compliment and couldn't help but feel somewhat enviable towards their relationship. It seemed that they had a more intimate relationship with each other than did Hazumu had with Yasuna. They actually looked like they were in a relationship whereas her relationship with Yasuna almost felt like a "just friends" vibe.

"I'm sorry that I have been a burden on you two. I'll leave you two alone now." said Hazumu as she was beginning to feel like the third wheel. She really did not want to be intrusive on her friends if they wanted some alone time.

Asuta looked over at Hazumu and soon responded.

"You're not being a burden Hazumu. It's obvious that you are in some kind of trouble. We just want to help."

"Well look at you. Take one glance at Hazumu and you suddenly forget about me? How terrible." said Ayuki in a playfully depressing voice.

"Ayuki! I didn't mean anything by that!"

The stunned look on Asuta's face brought a smile to Ayuki's lips. She managed to pay him back for that whole "gorgeous" comment he made earlier, embarrassing her in front of Hazumu. Her mission accomplished she then placed her attention on Hazumu.

"That idiot is right you know. We both care about you Hazumu and I know that you are going through a rough time what with problems with Yasuna and your estrangement from Tomari. So talk to us. Tell us what's going on."

Hazumu could tell that both Ayuki and Asuta were serious. It made her feel some sort of guilt knowing that they were there the whole time for her to confide in but that she did not have the confidence to approach them. While Hazumu knew that Tomari was no longer there to hold her hand the red head still had other friend with whom she could share her concerns and grief with.

The red head took a deep breath as she prepared to speak. It was difficult for her to open up to others other than Tomari but she knew that she had to start trusting other people. Tomari wasn't going to be in her life forever.

"The thing is that Yasuna has been acting so coldly toward me lately. For almost this entire month we have hardly done anything together. Every time I invite her to help me with the garden she refuses and leaves with a sad look on her face. She won't come when I invite her to my house and refuses to do anything during the weekend. Even here at school she seems to only speak to me when it is absolutely necessary. Did I do something to make her upset? I'm not sure." said Hazumu sadly.

"Let me ask you something Hazumu. Have you ever thought of confronting Yasuna about her unusual behavior?" asked Ayuki.

Hazumu shook her head.

"No. I just figured that if she was mad at me for something then she'll tell me eventually. She seems upset at me for whatever reason and avoids me. I don't want to do anything that will make her more upset."

Ayuki seemed to be in deep thought as she processed this information. Then it seemed like a light bulb went off in her head. Her glasses gleamed as she pushed them up with her fingers. Asuta, being merely the spectator so far, backed off just a bit. He knew that Ayuki was about to lay it on Hazumu.

"Hazumu are you sure that you have been in a relationship with Yasuna for a year already? The way you are coming across it's almost as if you two just started going out yesterday." said Ayuki sternly.

The red head flinched when she heard this. Obviously she had made some sort of mistake if Ayuki was able to pick up on it and become upset at her for it.

"What do you mean Ayuki?" asked Hazumu timidly.

"The fact that you don't even know what you're doing wrong is disheartening in itself. I can understand why Yasuna would be upset at you." replied Ayuki harshly.

Asuta, seeing that Hazumu was not taking this verbal beat down so well, decided to intervene. He loved Ayuki, he really did, but he knew that she had a big problem when it came to her superiority complex. She was beautiful and intelligent, the kind of girl he thought he could never attain, but he found that being in a relationship with such a person had its share of faults as well. Ayuki could see things other could not but did not do well in sharing her knowledge. She had to make sure that the other person was very well aware of their ignorance before giving her insights. Asuta wasn't sure if Ayuki meant to do this or not but he often had to put his foot down when she would start acting this way. This was one of those times.

"Hey no need to blast her for it Ayuki! We came here to help not to put her down. Geez and you wonder why she doesn't come to us for advice."

"What are you talking about Asuta? The fact that she doesn't even understand what is going on shows that-"

"Who cares? It is because she doesn't know that she is seeking your guidance. Damn it Ayuki are you going to continue to treat other people like they are beneath you because you're so much smarter than them? Hazumu already feels guilty enough as it is already. She feels like her relationship with Yasuna is falling apart and you're not helping by rubbing salt on her wounds. Hazumu has been my friend for a very long time. If you are going to continue treating her like this then we might as well leave Hazumu alone. Because the way I see it we're only making things worse right now."

Ayuki felt herself flinch with every word that came out of Asuta's mouth. This wasn't the first time that he has brought this issue up about her and truthfully she was doing her best every day to fix that part about herself. There wasn't anything wrong with a small scolding here and there but Ayuki knew that sometimes she got carried away with herself. While getting lambasted by Asuta was embarrassing she knew that it was for the best. It made her happy to know that Asuta was willing to confront her if he felt she was wrong about something. It proved that Asuta wasn't just some clown that Ayuki could just entertain herself with before getting tired and dumping him. No, Asuta proved himself to be his own man and Ayuki loved him for that.

The purple haired girl then looked over at Hazumu, who seemed to be near tears, and embraced her. The red head stiffened a bit at the contact but soon relaxed. Ayuki then started to stroke Hazumu's hair softly as she uttered her apology.

"I'm sorry Hazumu. I know that I can be a pretentious 'know it all' and can come across as quite bitchy. I didn't mean to make you feel any worse than you already were. We really want to help you Hazumu. So please give me another chance."

Hazumu had never seen Ayuki so subdued before but then again it wasn't often that someone called her out and proved her wrong. At that moment she really began to look up to Asuta. Even though he had been in a relationship for a shorter time then she has he seemed to have a better idea on how to handle one. If only she could be this brave around Yasuna.

"It's okay Ayuki. I know that I can be pathetic and clueless so I wasn't surprised that you spoke to me the way you did. I know I would have in your place. But still if it makes you feel better than I forgive you." smiled Hazumu.

They remained that way for some time before Ayuki pulled herself away from Hazumu and took her place beside Asuta.

"What you grinning like an idiot for Asuta?" asked Ayuki pointedly.

"The two of you together looked pretty hot. Maybe you can kiss her next time, you know, to indulge me?"

Hazumu flinched as she saw Ayuki hit Asuta behind the head again.

"You pervert! Is that the only thing you can think of?"

"Well…I told myself it wouldn't hurt to ask. Seems I was wrong."

At this point Hazumu really started to laugh at the antics of the two lovebirds in front of her. Their relationship seemed to be filled with so much life. Hazumu really did love Yasuna and felt that their time together was precious. However she could not help but feel that their relationship felt so…sterile compared to what she saw now.

"You two really love each other, don't you?" asked Hazumu.

"As much as I hate to admit it I really am head over heels for this knuckle head. Can you believe that I'm going to attend his first kendo match next week? Probably going to smell like wet gym socks in there but when you love someone you put up with it." said Ayuki with a smile.

It was then that Asuta surprised both girls as he made his way behind Ayuki and embraced her from behind. He placed his head onto her shoulder and exhaled onto the crook of Ayuki's neck. The purple haired girl felt goosebumps all over her body and nearly cursed Asuta. He knew her weak points all too well.

"Ayuki is the best thing that has ever happened to me. To think that such a beautiful, intelligent young woman would go out with the likes of a dummy like me. I will never let her go."

"A-Asuta…."

Asuta kissed Ayuki lightly on the lips before turning his attention towards a blushing Hazumu. His eyes were serious.

"Be honest with us. Do you really love Yasuna?"

Hazumu wasn't quite sure how to react to that question. It was something that she had been asking herself lately as well. With their relationship cooling the way it was Hazumu could not help but feel like her love was cooling as well. However the thought of not being with Yasuna filled her heart with tremendous pain. She loved Yasuna and was willing to do she had to do to get her back.

"Yes. I loved her the moment I laid my eyes on her. That has and will not change." replied Hazumu seriously matching her glare to that of Asuta's.

It was then that Ayuki then took the time to respond.

"Hazumu if you truly love Yasuna then you need to be there for her. I don't know why she would be avoiding you but what it tells me is that she has no confidence in your ability to fix the situation. For that I really wouldn't blame her. You haven't been the most decisive person in the world, especially with that debacle last year. You need to confront her and show her that she can depend you. She may not want to see you but you have to insist on being there for her even when she doesn't realize it."

"But what if she gets mad at me?" asked Hazumu frightfully.

"That is bound to happen. Relationships are bound to have their fair share of hard times. How many times has it been that Ayuki has gotten so angry at me for something I stood up for that I felt that our relationship was over? That I may have royally messed up? Yet each and every single time we made up and our relationship became stronger as a result. You can't just hide your feelings all the time. Sure it may save you some pain but then you get to the point to where you hardly even understand the person you are in the relationship with. Yasuna will get angry at you, she may try to push you away but believe me when I say this Hazumu. That is when she needs you the most. The question is whether you can get over your fear of confrontation and man up. You can't hide behind Yasuna when the going gets tough Hazumu. She isn't Tomari. YOU need to be strong for her. YOU need to show her that she can depend on you, to trust you when she feels weak and helpless. YOU are going to have to be her rock. Ask yourself if you are ready to make that change Hazumu because honestly, if you aren't willing to become braver and stronger for her then you should just break up with her at once and make up with Tomari. At least with Tomari you can stay the way you are and she'll be the one to protect you. The choice is yours." said Asuta seriously.

Hazumu could only cast her head down as she tried to process everything that she heard so far. It almost seemed insurmountable. She had been this way for as long as she could remember. Any time that she was placed in a stressful situation she always had Tomari there to help her.

Both Ayuki and Asuta made very good points, however. Yasuna was not Tomari and Hazumu knew that she could not expect Yasuna to behave in the same way. It frightened Hazumu to know that she would have to change herself. Yasuna was shy and delicate. She couldn't handle the stress of confrontation very well. This was apparent that time last year when Yasuna was confronted by the security guard. Hazumu knew that that moment foreshadowed their relationship in the time to come.

Hazumu hated to be the one out there. She hated to confront others and she, in general, did her best to avoid any stressful and unpleasant situations. But the fact of the matter was that there would come a time when they would be put on the spotlight. Hazumu knew that Asuta was right. She simply couldn't expect Yasuna to protect her the way Tomari would. If anything it would be she, Hazumu that would have to do the protecting.

"I understand what I must do. Yet I don't know how to go about it. I love Yasuna so much but I'm still so afraid. Where is that I can find the courage to what I must do?" asked Hazumu.

"We cannot give you those answers Hazumu. That is something that you will have to find on your own. But understand this. Don't believe you are a failure if you are not able to make up with Yasuna. It simply means that your relationship with her simply wasn't meant to be. There is no shame in admitting that. But for both your sakes I suggest that you try everything you can before throwing in the towel." said Ayuki.

Hazumu got up and soon walked towards the railing of the school roof once more. She scanned the landscape wondering as to what to do next. For whatever reason her eyes made their way toward the track and the girls there practicing. It was then that Hazumu suddenly got her epiphany. She knew now the next step she needed to take in order to repair her relationship with Yasuna.

Turning back toward Asuta and Ayuki, Hazumu gave a big smile of gratitude.

"Thank you two so much for your help. I know now what it is I must do next. I know where to find my courage." said Hazumu.

"Really? So soon? And pray may I ask from where are you getting this courage from?" asked Ayuki curiously.

"The one place I have always sought it from…Tomari."

* * *

Tomari had just got out of the shower feeling fresh and accomplished. Today's practice had been very productive and Tomari was proud of the gains she had already made. She managed to shave a bit more time from the one hundred yard dash and was now confident that she was ready for the prefecture qualifiers coming up next month.

This was not including her being in both the relay and pole vault competitions as well. While she wasn't the best when it came to team sports she found the relay very fun to watch and soon wanted to compete in that category as well. She was made the anchor of the team and was willing to try her hand at this form of competition as well.

The pole vaulting had been something of a spur of a moment decision for Tomari but she decide to go for it anyway. While she wasn't exactly great it was still something that kept her afterschool and away from home. The less time she spent at home the better. It have her less time to think about some very unpleasant thoughts.

So it was that she was on her way out, saying her farewells to some of her track buddies, when saw a sight that made her gasp in fright.

There stood Hazumu at the school entrance and it seemed like the red head had been waiting all this time. Tomari had wanted to just turn around and run away but she wasn't the kind of person to back down from anything. It hurt her so much to see Hazumu and it was taking everything she had to keep the tears from running down her eyes.

Tomari shook her head furiously.

"I know you probably don't want to see me Tomari but it has been so long since we have been together. Do you mind if we walk home together?" asked Hazumu courteously.

While she was somewhat happy that Hazumu wanted to spend some time with her Tomari wasn't going to make things so easy for Hazumu. She simply walked past her before saying:

"Let's go."

It was quiet for the first part of the walk. There was somewhat of an awkward tension going on between the two girls. It soon became too much and Tomari broke the ice first.

"So what's going on? Aren't you supposed to be with Yasuna?"

Hazumu could not help but notice the slight bit of disgust that Tomari had uttered that phrase. It made Hazumu guilty to know that Tomari was still very hurt over being turned down. Even now Hazumu could not help but think she was only using Tomari. But there was no one else that she could turn to.

"That's the reason why we're here Tomari."

Tomari suddenly got angry.

"Then that's it? I had the feeling that the only reason why you came was because you needed something from me. I would have never figured you to be that kind of person Hazumu."

Hazumu felt even guiltier when she heard this. It was hard to keep her tears in but she could not take it.

"Tomari please just listen-"

"Isn't that what your girlfriend is supposed to do? If you are having problems in your life then talk to Yasuna about it otherwise-"

This was becoming too much for Hazumu and before she knew it she suddenly yelled out:

"Stop it Tomari!"

The volume of this outburst was unexpected and immediately Tomari found herself clamping up. She saw Hazumu breathing heavily in front of her.

"Don't you think I have tried to approach you one way or another? Yet you have always found it convenient to ignore me. Fine. I understand that you didn't want to talk to me I gave you your space. But believe me when I say this. I wouldn't have come to you unless I had no other choice. You are the only one that can help me. But if you are so willing to close your ears to me then that's fine! I won't bother you ever again Tomari! Never for the rest of your life!"

These words hit Tomari much harder than she anticipated and she felt herself collapse to the ground. She looked up to see Hazumu angrier at her than she had ever been. Yet inside those eyes of anger she could see the hurt behind them. In her time of need Hazumu had come to her, for whatever problem she had, and her she was turning her down. Tomari didn't know if she still loved or hated Hazumu but she knew one thing. She wouldn't be able to live without Hazumu in her life. That she knew was a fact.

For Hazumu to put everything on the line right now meant that she was being serious. This was out of character for Hazumu but Tomari knew that the reason for her behaving this way could only mean that Hazumu was desperate.

"Contrary to what you may believe Hazumu I don't hate you. Well…let me be a bit more honest. There was a time I hated you…a lot. Yet I can't deny the fact that you being out of my life would kill me. I wouldn't know what to do. I don't want you to be away from me."

"Tomari…."

"You really hurt me Hazumu. I know I shouldn't blame you for making your decision but still I couldn't help but feel cheated. I was the one who took care of you, who watched over you, who protected you. I did so much for you because I loved you even when I didn't realize I did. Then came along Yasuna and it seemed that all she had to do was look at you pretty and you were putty in her hands. It was not fair. Why did she have to win when she hasn't done even half of what I have done for you? I could love you more than she ever could. Yet you made your decision. I lost. So be it. I know I have acted unfair toward you Hazumu and for that I'm sorry. I confess to wanting to see you hurt as much as I have. It was selfish and cruel of me and, in the end, the only one I ended up hurting was myself."

Without warning Tomari started to weep loudly to herself. At once Hazumu went over to her and embraced her. The reaction was significant.

"Let go of me Hazumu! Damn it please!"

"No! You have been bearing this pain on your own long enough. You have been strong for me all this time. For once let me be the one to be strong for you."

"Y-You're so cruel Hazumu. Don't you realize the t-torture you're p-putting me through? Can't you fucking see it? I-I'm going to start falling in love with you again and just when I was beginning to get over you. Why is it that you insist on hurting me?"

"That's not true! I never wanted to hurt you Tomari! Don't you think I have felt like a monster knowing that you loved me yet I turned you down? Yet I can't deny the fact that I love Yasuna. I can't help the way I feel! I loved her the moment I saw her and that is never going to change! But don't think for a second that I enjoy seeing you in tears because I don't! So do what you have to do! Hit me, hurt me, cry, whatever it is that will get this out of your system."

Tomari took this advice literally as she started to pound on Hazumu's body with her fists, crying even harder as she did so. Hazumu bore the pain silently.

Then Tomari did something strange. She looked up at Hazumu and kissed her deeply on the lips, forcing her way down as she did everything she could to savor the moment. Hazumu did not resist but did not reciprocate the kiss either. She merely sat there until Tomari was done. Tomari then screamed onto Hazumu's bosom before resuming her weeping, clutching at Hazumu with a mad desperation.

For all its intensity Tomari calmed down very quickly and soon she just lay on Hazumu's shoulder, sniffling here and there as Hazumu stroked her hair softly. It was then that Hazumu soon spoke.

"You know Tomari the reason why I came to you was because I wanted to ask where I could find the courage to confront the one I love. Yasuna has been acting cold towards me lately and ignoring me. Yet I never had the bravery to ask what was wrong. I came to you find the strength I needed because you're the bravest person I know."

"W-Well I'm sorry if I ended up disappointing you Hazumu. I must look like a mess now don't I?" grinned Tomari through her tearful eyes.

"No, no! In fact this ended up turning out for the best. I found the courage I needed to now talk to Yasuna about whatever it is that is bothering her and I have you to thank for it. Perhaps it was not the way I was expecting but I can't but feel that this was better in the end. I knew that I could always count on you Tomari! So thank you."

Tomari did not know whether to feel sorrow at the fact that she still had no chance to get into Hazumu's heart or be happy for the fact that she was still genuinely needed in her life. Knowing that Hazumu probably already has her hands full with Yasuna, Tomari soon dried her tears and regained her strength.

"You know Hazumu I'm happy that you came to me. What you did was really brave you know. Not many people would want to confront the person they hurt and try to mend bridges. You saw what happened. I went pretty psycho there for a while. But damn don't I feel better! I haven't had a good crying tantrum like that for a long while. So thank you, Hazumu, for being there for me even if it is as a vent for my frustrations. I guarantee you do to Yasuna what you did for me and she'll be putty in your hands." replied Tomari with a smile as she stood back up.

"Does this mean we're friends again? Will stop avoiding me and start hanging out with rest of us now?" asked Hazumu with a hopeful voice.

"Hmmm I don't know. That's kind of a tall order to ask of me."

"Tomari…."

"I know!"

With a wicked grin Tomari sauntered her way toward Hazumu and, for the second time, kissed her deeply on the lips. This time Hazumu started to succumb and returned Tomari's kiss. They stayed that way for a long while before each drew themselves apart.

"Why did you do that Tomari?"

"You're so silly Hazumu. I still kind of have the hots for you. Besides you have gotten much better at kissing. Practice much with Yasuna?"

"Tomari!"

"Haha well anyway I think that about does it. You can officially count me back in with the gang!"

Hazumu could not have smiled any wider even if she tried.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you Tomari! I'm so happy you'll be joining us again!"

"Well lover girl what are you waiting for? Go out and get Yasuna back you big dummy. Show her you really mean business. But know this. If she is stupid enough to reject you then I will welcome with open arms. I mean it."

* * *

Hazumu felt her heart beating at a million miles an hour as she stood at the front of Yasuna's house. There was a lingering sense of doubt within her but she shook it off immediately. She knew that she could not put this issue off any longer.

She pressed on the white button that linked over to the house intercom. She waited for a moment before a kind, motherly voice answered the summons.

"May I ask who is it?"

"It is Hazumu."

"Hazumu? What are you doing here dear? It's going to get dark soon. Do your parents even know you're here?"

"No but this is important. I need to speak to Yasuna."

"I'm afraid she isn't up to seeing guests my dear. She has been rather melancholy all lately and-"

"I'm not leaving until I speak to her."

There was a silent pause as all Hazumu heard was static from the reception box. Without another word the gates to the house opened and Hazumu made her way into the yard. Yasuna's mother had the door open and ready to receive her. They made their way to the dining table where there was a cup of tea and some cookies.

"I'm sorry to come on such short notice but I really need to talk to Yasuna. Let her know that I'm here." said Hazumu.

Yasuna's mother knew that the girl was in a relationship with her daughter and neither she nor her husband had any issue with it. From the way the red headed girl was speaking there seemed to be issues with that relationship. It wasn't in her place to ask questions and she felt that Yasuna's mellow behavior was perhaps attributed to the problems between the two girls anyway. Either way she wouldn't refuse Hazumu's request and soon informed her daughter about their guest.

Hazumu had to wait about fifteen minutes before Yasuna's mother informed the red head that her daughter was ready to entertain her in her room. Giving a bow of respect and appreciation, Hazumu soon excused herself and entered into Yasuna's room.

The place was as immaculate as ever. Fermata, the dog, was asleep at the far corner of the room. Yasuna was on her desk sketching a drawing of musical instruments. She did not seem to notice Hazumu's presence. Hazumu was a bit peeved at being treated this way and soon closed the door and made her way straight to Yasuna.

Still the dark haired girl paid no attention to Hazumu and, for the first time in a long while, got Hazumu angry.

"Yasuna we need to talk." said Hazumu sternly.

"What is there to talk about?" asked Yasuna her gaze never leaving her sketch.

This blatant disregard for her presence was too much and Hazumu slammed her hand on the table top. The noise startled Yasuna enough to where Hazumu was able to take the sketch from her table and toss it to the nearby counter top. At once Yasuna got upset as she looked over at Hazumu.

"Good I have got your attention…something which you hardly seem to be doing for me lately." said Hazumu.

Yasuna sighed in annoyance as she got up and took her place on the nearby couch with Hazumu following. Once seated Hazumu soon spoke.

"What is wrong Yasuna? I feel like you have been ignoring me for the past month. Is there something that is the matter?" asked Hazumu with concern now.

"Nothing is wrong Hazumu. I have been very busy lately. I'm attending a woodwind concert next week and have been practicing on top of other things. My life does not revolve around you Hazumu." said Yasuna sternly.

Hazumu had the distinct impression that Yasuna was only giving her part of the truth. There was something deeper that Yasuna was hiding but Hazumu wasn't sure what. That was why she was here.

"It couldn't have hurt to have told me Yasuna. In fact I would have loved it if you did. I could have started to prepare to watch your concert. What I want to know is why haven't you told me?"

"Hazumu don't take this the wrong way but you can't expect me to tell you every single detail of my life."

"As a matter of fact I am taking it the wrong way. Something is bothering you and you are not telling me anything."

It was then that Yasuna was starting become upset.

"Okay let's just suppose something is the matter with me. What is it to you if I decided to share it with you or not? If I ever felt ready to tell you then I will. With that being said I suggest we drop the subject completely." responded Yasuna.

What Hazumu couldn't understand was why Yasuna was so intent in hiding things from her. They had been quite open with each other prior to this predicament. Hazumu wasn't sure what it was that warranted this complete change in Yasuna's behavior.

"Yasuna let me ask you something. Do you love me?"

This question had taken Yasuna by complete surprise. She had expected Hazumu to just give up and walk out or even get even angrier. But to see her face suddenly contort with hurt made her feel guilty.

"Of course I love you Hazumu you should know that." replied Yasuna softly.

"It's hard for me to believe that. You haven't told me that you loved me for over a month now. You ignore me, you refuse any and all of my invitations to spend time with you and even now you do your best to act cold towards me. So yeah it is hard for me to know that you love me when you try and distance yourself from me in every way you can."

"Hazumu I-"

"What happened Yasuna? If something is bothering you then why haven't you told me? We're in a relationship aren't we? We are supposed to let the other know if something is wrong. Yet here you are hiding things from me. Let me ask you another question Yasuna. Don't you trust me?"

This question stabbed Yasuna in the heart. She knew what Hazumu was implying and she suddenly felt wretched to think that she had been hurting Hazumu like this for the month. Yasuna had to admit that she sometimes got so caught up in her own pain that she failed to see the hurt in the people around her. She thought that by her actions she was doing the right thing. She desperately wished that Hazumu would get the message but instead Hazumu pursued her.

Just like she pursued her the first time she asked her out and was refused. Or when she pursued her even after becoming a girl and still continued to pursue her when she finally asked her out the second time around. Yasuna did not know whether to be angry at Hazumu for not getting the message or endeared toward her because of her tenacity. Her utter willingness to still want to be with her. Because it confirmed the one thing in Yasuna's mind that she had always, but shouldn't doubt.

_Hazumu really does love me._

"Hazumu I will admit that I didn't trust you, at least until now. I know that you are the kind of person that doesn't like to have to make hard choices. You see…I have been feeling guilty the entire time we have been going out. I feel like I took you away from Tomari and because of that ruined your friendship with her. I know that you loved her as well and to this day I can't help but feel like I also lost a good friend because of my love for you. It was like we both felt Tomari wasn't worth our time and we selfishly pursued our own happiness without consideration for anyone else's feelings. But that is only part of the reason. You see Hazumu I began to grow afraid. Scared that one day you will leave me for someone. I love you. I love you so much that the thought of you being away from my life fills me with so much pain and sorrow. And this is just going out with you for one year. How much worse will the pain be if I stayed with you for two years, five years, ten years? I would die…I'm sure of it. So I made the cowardly choice in trying to end our relationship. I wasn't brave enough to simply tell you to break up so I decided to act unkind to you in the hopes that you would get the message and leave me."

"I figured that once you broke up with me you would get together with Tomari, she would join us again and I could resume my friendship with her. Sure I would hurt…I would be in so much pain, but it would be something that I could tolerate. I knew that I couldn't wait any longer if I wanted my plan to succeed. However I realized that being away from you this past month was extremely painful, and more than that, made me blind to the pain I was causing you. Here I am saying that I'm being this selfless person, that I would bite the bullet, so to speak, in order to make everyone happy and instead I find that I'm hurting the one I love the most. That I'm being completely selfish and cowardly in this move I'm making. You must hate me right now Hazumu but maybe that's for the best. I love you…I really do but I don't think I can continue with this relationship. I must stop it before-"

Yasuna never finished as she felt Hazumu lunge forward and silence her with a deep kiss to her lips. There was a internal struggle going on inside of Yasuna one side wanting to end the relationship once and for all in an act of self-perseveration and the other side telling her to be happy and entrust her life in Hazumu's hands. The whole time Yasuna was sure that Hazumu would hurt her eventually. Would dump her to the side in the pursuit of another person. The fact that she had so little trust in Hazumu made her feel guilty as heck.

Enraptured by this kiss she could tell, now, that Hazumu was completely serious about her relationship. They soon parted and at once Hazumu spoke.

"Yasuna if you want to break up with me then I won't force you to change your mind. But know this. I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. On my part I will never let you go…ever."

Yasuna's eyes widened as she heard this and it was at that moment that she realized that something in Hazumu had changed. It wasn't a drastic change yet it was enough to inspire confidence in Hazumu's character that wasn't there before. There was such conviction and surety in Hazumu's words…so different from the indecisive and whimpering mess she had been a year before.

No…this Hazumu would not flake out nor would she cower when the time came to make hard decisions. This Hazumu would those challenges head on to the best of her ability and the thought of that made Yasuna feel a sense of safety and security in Hazumu that was never there before.

As Hazumu took Yasuna in her arms the black haired musician could not help but want to dig herself even deeper into Hazumu's being. That no one would dare hurt her as long as Hazumu held her in her arms. This was right…this was meant to be.

"I'm so sorry for hurting Hazumu. I will never do anything like this again. I love you and I too want to stay by your side for the rest of my life."

Hazumu held Yasuna in possessively as she stroked her silken hair. She loved this girl so much it hurt her. Hazumu could not even think of a future without Yasuna there to share it by her side.

"Our relationship isn't going to be easy Yasuna. We may get mad at each other again or something else may try to ruin us. But together I know we will be alright. I promise."

"I know Hazumu…I believe you. My life…my body, heart and soul are in your hands now. Do with them as you wish."

"I will cherish them…Yasuna."

So it was that Yasuna had prevented herself from making the biggest mistake in her life. Of course she didn't know it at this time but it proved to be the starting point of something special between the two young women. Yasuna, who was so used to the company of misery and solitude finally found the person with whom she could share her life with.

* * *

Author's Note: Phew long one shot right there. Anyway hit me up people let me know what you all think.


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